Late last year—as in, days before the Christmas break—I walked away from my job for the same reasons. I had hit a wall and it was impacting my physical and emotional health. I equate my burnout to a raw onion: it makes your eyes water, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and can cause indigestion.

I had had enough. My body had had enough. Right before I packed it in, every work email was triggering a fight or flight response: sheer panic about more tasks and responsibilities landing on my plate. 

Post-resignation hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park. It’s been messy and complicated. And it still feels like an onion, where peeling back the layers of recovery requires strength. Not to mention patience in dealing with that sticky onion layer that doesn’t want to let go.

As I’ve peeled these layers back in my own life, I’d like to share with you some of the layers I’ve been through, in hopes that they might help you in your journey back from burnout. 

1. Get comfortable with discomfort (yours and others). The discomfort is just one of many layers you need to peel away, and this one has multiple layers. I’ve had many sleepless nights since I left my job. At first, it was all about my brain processing what had led to the moment when I decided that quitting that very day was the best action. The discomfort here came from reliving a lot of little things that, taken on their own, shouldn’t cause employee burnout. But added up with all the other little things, well, let’s just say the sum of the parts is greater than the whole. 
The next layer of discomfort came from thinking about my colleagues. I felt like I was letting them down by leaving with work on my plate, some of which they would have to pick up and manage along with their own workloads. Unmanageable workloads seem to be quite common in many workplaces, and a wise friend advised me that it wasn’t my responsibility to sort it out for everyone.
A further layer of discomfort reflected back on my actions, when I started thinking, “what was I thinking?!” You know, that I quite possibly made a wrong choice. In the end, I know in my heart that I made the best choice—the only choice--for me at the time. The discomfort comes from acknowledging and sitting with these uncomfortable thoughts, instead of dismissing them outright. 

2. Take some time. At some point, I’ll return to paid work, of that I am sure. But for the moment, I’m taking time for myself—to breathe, to recover, to reset. Of course, I’m still promoting my books and thinking about new books that I might write in the future. But if and when I do return to the paid workforce, my books will once again become a weekend side hustle. For now, though, I’m enjoying having time on weekdays to work on them, with no pressure. I hope you too are able to take some time to recover. 

3. Reject the tired recruiting belief about “finding a job while you still have a job.” Have you had someone spout these supposed words of wisdom to you? That the “best time to find a job is when you already have a job.” Have you said them yourself? I would argue that’s not always true. If you’re suffering from even the early stages of burnout and you jump ship for another organization, you’ll just transfer your burnout baggage to another employer. While it can be considerably less stressful to job hunt when you’re currently receiving a regular paycheque, it may be tough to present your best self during interviews if you’re already burnt out. Take it from me. Enough said. 

4. Be kind to yourself. It can be easy to feel like it’s your fault when your mental wellbeing takes a hit in the workplace—as it does in the case of burnout. It’s not your fault you are experiencing burnout. I tell myself that every day; maybe one of these days I’ll truly believe it. And I hope the same goes for you. Remember why you left in the first place. It was the best choice at the time, so don’t feel guilty that you cut and ran—and I’ll endeavour to keep it in mind too. Bottom line, you need to look out for yourself.

Conclusion. There you have it, my onion layers I’ve been examining as I reset and move beyond burnout. I’m sure I’ll discover more layers, more lessons. When I do, I’ll share them with you. For the record, I try to keep my eyes dry as I peel onions, with varying degrees of success.

Do you have a desk-based job? Are you a professional sitter? The knowledge-based economy means that many adults sit at their desks and in meetings for hours at a time every day. Productivity, profit, and professionalism lead people to remain seated at all times. But we're not in an airplane, and there is no turbulence (hint: you can get up and move about the cabin). This physical inactivity is prematurely aging our mostly sedentary bodies when we sit at a desk all day. It is killing us. 
​

 I am always astounded at how quickly the time goes during live appearances. This appearance was no different. Before I knew it, the host was wrapping up my segment, thanking me for my time and directing folks to visit my website for more information. 
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The next day, I received an email from someone who did just that. They wanted to know about my books and where they were available. They had seen me on the episode of Daytime Ottawa, and they wanted to access my books. I directed them to my Amazon page first (not knowing yet that they lived locally), then indicated they could buy directly from me if they were in the Ottawa area. 

"I saw you on TV, but I can't afford your books." The email response did not deter me, as I directed them to our library to access them for free. I am so proud that my library has chosen to put their faith in my books by ordering multiple copies. Libraries support education and literary in an equitable fashion. As a child, we didn't have a library branch near our home, but we did have monthly visits from their bookmobile. It was my favourite day of the month. 

When I published my first book, it was a great feeling of accomplishment. It was only when I saw that book in circulation at our library that I truly felt I was an author. Even if you can't afford to buy one of my books, I hope you'll be able to access it via the library. 

If you live in another city, you can request that they purchase a book. This blog explains how to do it. And if you'd like to request they purchase one of my books, you can find details you'll need for your request by following the book links on my Amazon Author Page. 

On that note, I'm off to read a book. That I checked out of the library.

What a strange year it has been. A once-in-a-century pandemic has uprooted the entire planet, the toll to human life staggering. No one has been unaffected by the events of the past year, including me. Here’s a brief glimpse into the past year, from a recovering fitness professional.
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Shortly before the world got turned upside down, I began a new chapter in my life. My fitness business of more than a decade was shelved in favour of a full-time job for a health charity. If you’ve read my fitness memoir, I Can See Your Underwear, or even the excerpt I shared one year ago, you’ll know that I was feeling burnt out from focusing on other people’s fitness goals, at the expense of my own.


That’s what partly precipitated my retirement from being a fitness entrepreneur—I needed to put my goals first. The office job was a way to reclaim my evenings and weekends—punch a clock and contribute when at the office, while focusing on myself during my down time. I even managed to find a job that allowed me to engage in active transportation—the office was a 40-minute walk in each direction, a 19-minute bike ride when the snow finally melted.


And then it happened—seven days in to my new role, everyone who could was instructed to work from home until further notice. [Spoiler alert: one year later, we’re still awaiting details on the return-to-the-office plans. Thankfully, none of us have been holding our breath.] Overnight, my commute became much shorter—eight steps from the kitchen to my desk, eighteen steps from there to the bathroom. The line between home and work blurred for many, myself included. I spent many more hours in a seated position, and it didn’t take long for my body to protest.


You’ve heard of the Freshman 15? Well, I acquired the COVID 19. All that extra sitting began wreaking havoc on my now-larger frame. Another lockdown during the worst of the winter months meant that, in addition to being more sedentary that I ever have, I was also less physically active. That’s when the pain started. It began with foot pain in my left foot, then in my right foot, followed by low back pain and excruciating hip pain. 


Some targeted physiotherapy treatments helped, as well as a gentle reminder from my physio to do daily stretches. I began with a few minutes of stretching when things started acting up. The stretching helped and I was thankful I could draw on my fitness background for my own needs. 


And yet, my problems with pain persisted, even worsened. Until, that is, I went back to my roots. You see, it was a love of the very popular PBS fitness show Classical Stretch that opened me up to a career in fitness. I first discovered Classical Stretch on a snowy winter’s day in late 2001. I practiced it on and off throughout the decade, always feeling better after the 22-minute full-body rebalancing it provided. I jumped into the fray, beginning instructor training in early 2010.


One thing that happens when you’re a group fitness instructor is that every workout you do is focused on your clients’ needs. But now, back to doing my own workouts in my living room—often in my pjs—I could focus once again on my own needs. And boy, did I need a full-body rebalancing!


After a decade as a teacher, I was experiencing a renaissance as a student. And practicing what I often preached: the best exercise for you is the one you enjoy. Because if you like it, you’re more likely to do it. So I’m back to tried-and-true 22-minute workouts in the comfort of my own home. And my body thanks me every day.


What’s the lesson here? When it comes to exercise, physical activity, and just plain movement, find what you love and keep going. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

When I last wrote a blog post about exercise, the COVID-19 pandemic was just beginning to take hold. None of us knew how long until we could resume our regularly scheduled activities. The "world outside our windows" wasn't so much a scary place, just a really empty place.

As we enter the fourth month of restrictions on our movement and activities, many organizations in Ottawa have pivoted to offering online workshops and fitness classes. And I've been recruited to help deliver some of these offerings. So, here's what's on tap in July and August:

Workshops: How Can Seniors Prevent a Fall?
As we age, our risk of falling increases, as does the likelihood that a fall will cause an injury.  How can we help seniors prevent a fall, maintain their independence, and avoid a hospital visit?  Before the time of COVID-19, falls were the leading cause of injury, emergency room visits, and hospitalizations for seniors in North America, and half of all falls happened in the home. What about now? No data has yet been compiled on home-based falls during the pandemic, but the number has likely increased, as seniors have become more housebound as well as more sedentary.

Amanda Sterczyk, an independent author and personal trainer, will teach participants about the balance "sweet spot", the complexity of our balance system, and how easy it is to incorporate exercise into their daily lives to improve their balance and prevent falls.

There will be three opportunities to join this online workshop:
Friday, July 10th, 10:00 am, Ottawa Public Library's Zoom Portal. The session is free but you must register with the library to attend. 
Monday, July 20th, 2:00 pm, Old Ottawa South Community Association. The session is pay what you can, and you must register with OSCA to attend. (Note: workshop listed as "Balance and Your Body: How Exercise Can Help You Avoid a Fall.")
Monday, August 17th, 2:00 pm, Old Ottawa South Community Association. The session is pay what you can, and you must register with OSCA to attend. (Note: workshop listed as "Balance and Your Body: How Exercise Can Help You Avoid a Fall.")

Classes: Online Fitness for Seniors
There is a three-week series of classes that will be hosted via the Ottawa Public Library's Zoom portal. Each class is free, but also requires registration. If you want to join all three, you'll have to register for each of these classes:
Friday, July 17th, 10:00 am​, standing exercises
Friday, July 24th, 10:00 am, seated exercises
​Friday, July 31st, 10:00 am, lying down exercises (can be completed on the floor or on a bed)

Thursdays at 2:30 pm, MOBA: Stretch with Amanda.* If you're missing classes with me, I've returned to teaching once a week. Please contact me for registration details.


*(MOBA = mobility and balance)

​I am what you would call the poster child for introverted authors everywhere, toiling away in private, keeping my head down to work on my oeuvres — you get the idea. So joining not one but two online NaNoWriMo accountability groups was out of character for me. But I did it anyway, partly to see if being held accountable for writing every day would change my habits for the better.
    Are you curious about my success? While I didn’t achieve the goal of completing my novel’s manuscript, heck, I didn’t even crack the 50K word goal, I did learn a lot about myself during the process:

• My creativity doesn't have a timed off-switch — I used to think I couldn't write after 2:00 pm, but now I can write at any time of day.
• I have to listen to my body. If it physically hurts to neglect one manuscript (non-fiction) in favour of another manuscript (fiction), switch to the non-fiction.
• I love the freedom of writing fiction. When you're stuck, you can make something up. Plot twist!
• Don't force the process. Sometimes, the words flow from my brain to the screen via my fingertips, and that’s my cue to keep going. But when I'm forcing every sentence, flipping to the thesaurus every few words, it's time to take a break and go for a walk.

​
    While my intention at the beginning of the month had been to write my novel, Selfried and the Secret, I was actually juggling four books:

• Planning and promoting the launch of my third non-fiction book.
• Substantive edits for my fourth non-fiction book.
• Collaboration for my fifth non-fiction book, researching the title/subtitle and possible cover images, and respecting the time demands of my collaborator.
• The manuscript for my first novel, which was up 14,000 words by the end of the second week.

    I very quickly realized that my novel manuscript might not be finished in 30 days. So I decided to focus on the secondary goal of trying to write every day in November. Unfortunately, though, I also didn’t end up writing every single day. You see, we had a family emergency mid-month that took me away from my computer. As I wrote on one of the NaNoWriMo groups, life gets in the way of even the best of intentions.
    That first day I was forced to write a zero on my word count tally, well, that hurt. I felt like I was letting the group down, that I was letting myself down. Until I read posts from my fellow writers, some of whom were experiencing similar challenges with daily writing, for a variety of reasons. And I remembered why I wanted to focus on writing and publishing my works: for me and my audience. So I let myself off the hook. I was doing fine, and I needed to get back to writing for the right reasons.
    When I experienced a second day of entering zero in my word count tally, I realized I wouldn’t be able to crack 50,000 words. I made the decision to adjust my monthly goal down from 50,000 to 40,000 words. And I did it! By mid-afternoon on November 30th, my word count ticked past 40K. The bulk of my words this month went to my first novel in progress, currently resting at 28,000 words, patiently awaiting my return. It also included three blog posts, key updates — to the tune of 6,500 words — to the manuscript for my fourth non-fiction book, and a decent chunk of a fifth non-fiction book, which came to me as a result of our family emergency earlier in the month.
    It’s now December and I’m going to continue trying to write and create every day, but I’m also going to cut myself some slack if it doesn’t happen. Did the month-long challenge change my habit? Yes and no. It helped me be more comfortable with writing at different times of the day. But as I’ve noted before that even on the days I’m not writing, the wheels in my brain never stop turning. I’m pondering, reflecting, editing in my head. So whether or not these words make it on to paper or a screen, they’re still alive, waiting to be shared with the world.
    All in good time, all in good time.

​Over the summer, I made the difficult decision to put my mobile fitness business on hold and return to the paid workforce. As with any loss, I cycled through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But I was surprised with what happened when I arrived at acceptance. I felt like an incredible weight had been lifted off my shoulders; I felt relief with my decision. A huge relief, actually.

This relief, though, was coupled with an incredible sense of failure. Like, I couldn’t make it as an entrepreneur. That I had failed because my business wasn’t bursting at the seams. That I had failed because I was relieved to be putting it aside.

My job search was then another source of emotional turmoil. I had a wealth of experience, in both breadth and depth. And yet, I wasn’t even getting called for interviews. Well, that’s not exactly true. I did complete phone interviews for a pair of jobs. In one case, I advanced to the next stage: a video interview with my potential new boss. In the other case, I hadn’t impressed them enough to move forward in the process. And in both cases, I was dropped from the candidate pool.

Was it because of my age? I had turned 50 a few months earlier, and wondered if ageism was rearing its ugly head. But deep down, I again felt relief, because I knew I didn’t want to go back into an office full-time. Heck, I even clung to not being available full-time by scheduling a Friday morning class for 12 weeks. 

And then I decided that I should relax my job search criteria, open myself to part-time opportunities. I still have a house and family that require care and feeding. Roles that require time and effort, and which I take very seriously. 

My frustration mounted when I was even being considered for part-time roles. Was I now over-qualified? I went for a walk to clear my head and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Heck, I was still joking that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. 

But on that walk, a thought popped into my head: “I just want to write!” It was a bit of an epiphany, and I started reflecting on how much I had accomplished in the past 18 months, since I first decided to write and self-publish a book. Shortly after my first book was published, I was invited onto a Facebook Live broadcast to discuss my book and my journey of self-publication. The interviewer asked me if I had always known I wanted to be a writer. 

At the time, I didn’t have a clear answer for her. Since then, though, I’ve thought about it and realized that yes, deep down I always wanted to be a writer. I’m reminded of an elementary school project. I must have been in grade four or five at the time. Each student was required to complete a personal coat of arms. Included in the four quadrants were the past, present and future. 

In the future section, I had drawn a book. I can’t recall the title of the book, but the author was clearly me. The by-line was “Mandy Joab, Ph.D.” (That’s my maiden name, in case you’re wondering. And yes, I used to go by Mandy instead of Amanda.)

So I guess the answer to the question, “Have you always wanted to be a writer?” is “Yes!”
And that’s why my website and social media presence evolved from Amanda Sterczyk Fitness to Amanda Sterczyk - Author. It’s my fourth career and it fits really well. Especially since I finally found a part-time job that works for me and my commitments. I’m still a mom with kids at home, so running our household is still near the top of the list. But the other thing that ranks pretty highly now is writing.

The priority this month is my first attempt at fiction. After all, it’s NaNoWriMo, aka National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an online community of writers, a virtual support group to encourage you to write the first draft of a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I’m not officially registered on their website, but I am working towards a daily goal of writing 1,000 to 1,500 words.

A few months ago, I first came up with the idea for a novel. It was after posting an excerpt from my upcoming fourth book, I Can See Your Underwear: My Journey Through the Fitness World. I had several people tell me that I’m a great storyteller and I should consider turning my skills to the world of fiction. An idea for a story started germinating right then and there. 
I’ve always had a very active imagination, and I love making up stories in my head. As I researched novel writing, one clear rule emerged: you must engage the reader. If you write a compelling story that keeps the reader engaged, anything is possible. And so, my creative juices began flowing.

I read about plot and character development. I went for lots of solitary walks and daydreamed a lot, because that’s how my brain creates. I started a new file in my writing software (I use Scrivener and I love it), and began creating parts, chapters, sections, and characters. 
Last month, I began filling in the sections. And yesterday, the first day of the month, I wrote 1,400 words in the manuscript for Selfried and the Secret. This morning, I’ve produced only 300 words of fiction. But this post will come in at over 1,000 words. And after a walk, I know I’ll have more inspiration to continue on my novel. I’ll hit my 1,400-word target with room to spare. And if I’m on a roll with writing, who knows where I’ll stop today. 
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I am a writer. I am an author. And I love my new career.

I’ve been carrying a secret around with me for over three months. Partly out of embarrassment — for me and for you, should I decide to share this secret with you. And partly out of a feeling of failure — as in, there must be something wrong with me to let this happen. Are you ready to hear my secret? It has to do with unmentionable parts of my body.

Some people, both women and men, make faces, plug their ears, and exclaim absurdities like, “Ew!” when unmentionable topics are finally mentioned. If you’re one of those people, let me be blunt: it’s time to grow the fuck up and have an adult conversation. There are many conditions that impact women’s bodies, including the space south of the belly button, that are not discussed openly. And that’s a problem, because….well, there are many reasons this is a problem. Suffice it to say, I believe we all need to be more open about health issues so we can help ourselves and others.

So, here goes, I’m going to share my secret. For over three months, I’ve been struggling with pelvic organ prolapse — aka POP. In my case, my bladder has prolapsed. That’s right, my bladder decided to pull an Elvis — as in, she wanted to leave the building.

Who knew after I turned 50 that I’d join a new group — those women with POP. As in, half of women over the age of 50, and one third of ALL women struggle with POP at some point in their lives. Yet we don't talk about it. I didn't know it was so common, and it's taken me a while to feel comfortable talking about it.

It’s not just the diagnosis that can seem like an uncomfortable topic of conversation. The symptoms of POP can also render women shy and withdrawn:

• A feeling of pressure or fullness in the pelvic area.
• A backache low in the back.
• Painful intercourse.
• A feeling that something is falling out of the vagina.
• Urinary problems such as leaking of urine or a chronic urge to urinate.

In recent years, there has been an uptick in physiotherapists who are certified to treat pelvic floor conditions like POP. This makes a lot of sense to me: the pelvic floor is a group of muscles that supports the pelvic organs and physiotherapists are trained to help with malfunctioning muscles in every other part of your body. It was the right decision for me to first visit a pelvic floor physiotherapy. I knew exercises would help me sort things out with my body, so a visit to an expert was in order. When I finally visited my doctor’s office, the idea that a specialized physiotherapist could diagnose a prolapse was summarily dismissed. But that's a story for another time.

Prolapse is not the only manifestation of pelvic floor dysfunction. Incontinence can also result, along with a host of other conditions. And, in fact, men can also experience pelvic floor dysfunction.  In my mind, this is another great reason for us to be discussing what’s happening in our ‘nether regions’ in a non-sexualized fashion.

Discussing unmentionables doesn’t begin and end with the pelvic floor. Within the pelvic region, other systems can break down and cause problems. Take endometriosis, for example. It affects 10 to 20 percent of women in their childbearing years (ages 15 to 49). 

So what exactly is endometriosis? It is “a condition in which tissue similar to the lining inside the uterus (called “the endometrium”), is found outside the uterus, where it induces a chronic inflammatory reaction that may result in scar tissue.”

Just like pelvic organ prolapse, the symptoms of endometriosis can be difficult to discuss openly:

• painful periods,
• painful ovulation,
• pain during or after sexual intercourse,
• heavy bleeding,
• chronic pelvic pain,
• fatigue, and
• infertility.

Recently, my friend Lara Wellman shared her journey to a diagnosis of endometriosis. Like many girls and women who suffer with undiagnosed endometriosis, she too has been experiencing painful periods since her teenage years.

As Lara explains, “I put up with them my whole life. Then, last May, the pain was off the charts the entire day. To the point that I went to the ER to make sure I wasn’t dying. I haven’t had a pain-free day since.”

Let that comment sink in: so much pain that she thought she was dying. And Lara has had kids, so she gets vaginal pain from childbirth.

Like many “female issues,” the pain we experience during our periods is often dismissed as “just another thing we shouldn’t complain about.” After all, that’s what Midol is for — so the advertisers and medical community tell us. Yet this “normalization” of pain, and the need to not be seen as whining, keep women from talking about their symptoms.

As Lara told me, “Doctors aren’t being taught about endometriosis, so they can’t put the pieces together.” Though they acknowledge menstrual pain, they also brush it off: “Oh ya, periods hurt. Try the pill or lots of Advil,” explains Lara.

It’s yet another case where women put others' health and wellness ahead of their own. If our child or spouse was in so much pain, we’d be packing them off to the doctor immediately. When it comes to our own bodies, we let things slip when something’s not right “down there.”

Look, I know I’m only scratching the surface here when it comes to unmentionable conditions. I haven’t even broached stuff like interstitial cystitis, polycystic ovary syndrome, pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine fibroids, or gynecologic cancers. My point is, we need to start being more open about what’s happening with our bodies. Because someone else is probably also suffering in silence. ​

Frequent, flexible, and free. That's my motto with Your Job Is Killing: A User's Guide to Sneaking Exercise into Your Work Day. Please read on to enjoy an excerpt from my upcoming third book. It will help you understand why I wrote this book, and how it can help you and your fellow professional sitters to sit less and move more at work. Your very life depends on it. 
(copyright 2019 Amanda Sterczyk, all rights reserved)

It was an office job that precipitated my career change into the fitness industry. After spending several years at home with my young children, being confined to an office took its toll on my emotional and physical well-being. Endless meetings and conference calls where I felt chained to my chair were the norm. All I wanted to do was get up and go for a walk. In fact, at one point I was reprimanded for spending too much time visiting colleagues’ offices. Even though I was applying a 1980s solution to a 21st century problem, my boss thought my added movement was making me unproductive.
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Do you have a desk-based job? Are you a professional sitter? The knowledge-based economy means that many adults sit at their desks and in meetings for hours at a time every day. Productivity, profit, and professionalism lead people to remain seated at all times. But we're not in an airplane, and there is no turbulence. This physical inactivity is killing us.

This book will help teach you how to sneak “snacks” of exercise and movement into your work day. This is not some “let’s crush it with squats in the boardroom” type of book. It’s not about how to get the most out of your new treadmill desk. And it’s not an exercise manual either. There are plenty of resources available to show you how to exercise at work, including my free online course, “Add Movement at Work.”

With this book, I want to show you that adding stuff to your office to encourage movement is not the most practical or cost-effective solution. Instead, I’ll show you that moving more at work needs to be frequent, flexible, and free. I’ll leave the sweaty, costly, and complex office workouts to others.

If you read my first book, Move More, Your Life Depends On It, you’ll notice some similar content in this book. When Move More was first published, I was often asked, “Who is this book for?” My response was: for anyone who sits too much — for physically inactive office workers, for sedentary older adults, and for anyone who needs to break up the time they spend on their duff.

Regrettably, some of these groups didn’t identify with the message in Move More because they didn’t “see” themselves portrayed in my first book. Hence this updated perspective, which is targeted specifically to professional sitters.

You can visit Amazon to purchase your copy today.